I decided to keep the Monty Python theme going for another post.
Anyway, it’s been a week since my last unpleasant dental visit though I’m sure to have a bunch more follow-ups over the next few weeks to make sure everything is settling in properly. I’m still not quite up to solid foods, but I’m working my way through progressively less-soft foods. I wouldn’t say I’m feeling “good”, but I’m feeling pretty close to it.
Which brings me to something I want to share even though it sounds a bit corny. I swear I’m not paid to say this. Buzz Bites helped my recovery.
I know, I know, my electronic telepathy tells me you’re scoffing inwardly and giving your computer screen an incredulously suspicious look. It’s true. As I’ve said I’m a caffeine fiend. I’m not chugging down Redline or anything, but my average daily intake is several times the national average. So when my body doesn’t get it’s go-juice I’m not a happy camper.
And right after you’ve had someone climb in up to the elbows and start some hard-core reconstruction inside your mouth is not a great time to start pouring hot coffee or acidic soda down your gullet. Trust me, neither of those works out too well. (In hindsight I probably could’ve done some iced coffee, but just much prefer it hot.) A nice strong mint isn’t exactly a brilliant plan either, since “sparkly” and “traumatized gum tissue” is a match made more than a little south of heaven (part of the same reason that carbonated soda isn’t any fun).
But those Buzz Bites still work.
The first day I didn’t have anything, but I was popping Vicodin every 4 hours like clockwork and thus spent most the day napping through the conga drum solo caffeine-abstinence was playing on the back of my skull.
By the end of day 2 I was annoyingly awake for this, and finally deduced that not all the pain was related to having more than a dozen teeth molested. (I don’t know why that is. It always seems to take hours of caffeine deprivation for me to figure out that the withdrawal symptoms are precisely that. You’d think I’d have learned by now.) At this point I was still in the kind of mood that required psyching myself up to eat hearty foods like “pudding” and “applesauce”, so actually chewing a Buzz Bite wasn’t really an option. But I cut one into fourths, jammed them one at a time to the roof of my mouth, and just let them dissolve. Caffeine massaged my aching brain and for awhile there was peace in the world.
The next day I jammed a whole one up there and licked it to death.
Soon I was back to drinking coffee, but forced to let it cool enough it wouldn’t set off my highly temperature-sensitive mouth, which let me tell you, is no picnic either. According to my time-keeping there’s a precisely 30-second window between “too hot for injured mouth” and “disgustingly room temperature”. Regrettably some coffee was ingested on both sides of this window.
I’m back to my normal caffeine intake again, even if most of what I’m eating is being liberally treated with a food processor.
But those Buzz Bites really saved my backside. It’s hard enough to keep a positive mindset when it feels like you’ve had your face repeated bashed with a 2×4 and you’re relearning skills like “not drooling on oneself”, but when you try to do all that within the greater fog of caffeine withdrawal it’s downright depressing.
Of course all that could theoretically be eliminated by just not using caffeine to the degree I do, but who’d want to live like that?
I used to drink (a lot), smoke (a whole lot), and drink too much soft drink.
I quit smoking, don’t drink (as much), so I’ll be damned if I’ve gotta give up the only vice I have left. (I don’t count drinking because a couple beers a week is, frankly, actually good for you. It’s a tough job, but I take my medicine anyway.)
So yeah, Buzz Bites helped my recovery. And I’m not paid to say that. Though Vroom Foods is always welcome to send excess stock my way, should they need to make more room in their warehouse.